A Note on Crushes

i don't really have a crush on you.
but im a little in love with who you are.
but mostly because you're my friend.

people may think i like you,
but i don't.
i love you.
as all good friends should.

people may think i have a crush,
but it's not.
it's just been so long since i've had a best friend.
and you're the best friend i could have.
i love waking up because i know there will be jokes at lunch.
laughs, good times.

i left a note for you today.
just to say, YOU RULE...love Zoe
but it's not because i like you
it's because i care
and because you're such a good friend.

Hi, my name is Zoe and my active ingredient is Uranium

Hi my name is Zoe and i spell my name with two dots over the E.

Hi my name is Zoe and i like to mix sprite with coke.

Hi my name is Zoe and i make bad excuses like, sorry i couldn't hang out, i was busy getting the lining of my nose removed.

Hi my name is Zoe and i can type the speed of light when i get excited.

Hi my name is Zoe and the doctor can see you now.

Hi my name is Zoe and i'm busy ruining my life so please leave a message after the beep.

Hi my name is Zoe and fart jokes crack me up.

Hi my name is Zoe and i'm the surrogate mother for Rosemary's baby.

Hi my name is Zoe and if homosexuality is a disease i'm calling in queer to work.

Hi my name is Zoe and i collect horse shoes, rocks, and cell phone chargers.

Hi my name is Zoe give me directions to where you live and i'll be there in ten.

Hi my name is Zoe and i love to be loved and like to hold hands with my friends.

Hi my name is Zoe and i hate my sense of humor because i don't have one.

Hi my name is Zoe and i'm signing out of consciousness for the evening.

Green Grows The Violets

i'm a living wreck-- but i'm not from Tooting Bec.

come on, shoot me down.

kick me in the face. punch me. hard.

please, please, choke me until my face turns blue, and then release me, so i can gasp for breath like a fish out of water.

i wish you would just have balls enough to tell me how much

how much

how much?

how much for that shirt?

how much for re constructive surgery on your nose?

how much more can i take?

how much money do you have?

how much am i worth?

not much.

not much.

hey hey, pretty lady, walk into that room.

hey hey lady, every time you enter a room it feels like someone's left it, you know?

hey hey pretty, you pretty little thing.

hey pretty.

hey sweetness.

eat your fucking words, choke and die, beautiful.

i love you.
i want you.
i want me.
i love me.
i want to kill you.
i want to kill me.
think we could do it at the same time so our souls can rise up together?

rise up.
you gotta rise and shine sweetheart, because the world loves you!!!
...they just don't know you exist...

love, live, learn.

lie?
lie still.
don't move your head now, because i want to show you something.
it's called summertime.

girls get so dumb.
dumber in the summer.
maybe it's just me.

am i even awake? do i feel okay? do people like me? am i here? am i there?

am i dr. seuss? seems like it.

okay pretty baby take it slow
slowly now or you'll hurt your pretty little face and then where will we be?

Streams of Free-Flowing Thoughts in a Cage

i kind of feel like someone sucked on a lemon then spit in my eye.

i kind of feel like i jumped off a cliff with an invisible noose around my neck, and right when i was about to die, someone yanked me back up with a rude tug and yelled, WAIT-- THERE'S MORE!

i kind of feel like i sold my soul for money then tried to buy it back.

i kind of feel like someone swallowed me whole then flushed straight down the crapper into no man's land.

i kind of feel like rust flavoured ice cream scraped off a plate after a birthday party.

i kind of feel like a broken telephone broadcasting a sos to the invisible listener.

i kind of feel like an empty room.

a flower pot.
a broken chair.
dirty underwear.
shattered plates.
a hotel room.

a girl, yawning lazily to no one in particular... about nothing. she sighs, slowly, and nibbles at a hangnail as she stares into space.

a girl, skinny shoulders, skinny legs. green eyes, sallow smile, fragile ribs.

a girl, special delivery, on your doorstep.

a girl, a waitress, a stewardess, a laundress. your wife, friend, mother.

a girl, staring up at the full moon and wondering if the man is staring back.

a girl, mousy brown from the sun shining carelessly across her shoulders.

a girl. she's just a girl, after all.


so you take care not to blame her, but to protect her.
save her from the world you live in.
shelter her from unknowns and dangers.

don't blame the girl.
don't blame the girl for the loss of innocence.
crimson and clover.
daisies to roses.


Zoe.

Love + Rockets

oh, oh, i.
just don't know why.
i just can't live.
without your smile.

and maybe that's the reason.
why i'm feeling so blue.
and maybe that's the reason.
i can't get closer to you.

oh, dave, dan, and kev.
oh, love and rockets.

oh, oh.
repeat.

oh, little lady.
oh, come sit on my lap.
oh, you're getting so tall and awfully heavy these days.
oh, i just can't lift you anymore, due to my bad back.
oh, i'm sorry, don't cry.

don't cry little girl.
dream on.
your dreams are beautiful.
you dream of the city.
but look where you are!
look, stuck, like a moth drawn to the flame.
the ant in the pudding.

such a sweet trap, the city is.
sweet, sweet, you go there only to get
sucked in
to the streets, until your sense of direction fails and you're left
whirlpooling
down, down, down to where people just arn't friendly anymore

but you can't be blamed
for your big city dreaming
because you don't know better
it makes you feel so alive
so alive and refreshed
and maybe so huge you find yourself
wanting to SCREAM!

scream to the big
the huge
scream to the streets
the alleys
scream to the people
the scum
scream to the world
the city


so big. you can't even imagine.

A Nerdy Short Story

Today i went to star bucks in the bookstore, and while i was walking around in the bookstore i happened across a cute nerd and that nerd was so cute i just had to smile and so he smiled back and i kept looking for books.

then i realized i was kind of stalking the nerd subconsciously, either that or he was stalking me and that was fine and all but we kept running into each other and i kept smiling because god he was such a nerd.

then i went to go get some coffee and the guy at the counter was all like have some cake but i don't want some cake and where is that nerd anyway so i paid for my coffee and sat in a location that was situated so i could nerd-watch and stuff.

then just when i was about to give up hope there was that gosh darn nerd again with his stupid glasses all smiling at me and of course i had to smile back and stuff because who the hell doesn't smile at a nerd?

then he vanished! i went back to reading my book which of course that dumb star bucks guy asked me about like what are you reading when the cover clearly states the title so that was silly but i was too busy being sad because i lost my nerd.

then he reappeared! my nerd my nerd i was so happy because there he was all grinning and looking cheesy with those silly glasses and curly hair and i was like gosh you nerd and then he walked right past me.

then that nerd walked right past me and put on an apron!!! that nerdy guy worked at star bucks. he was nerdalicious so i made a big deal out of returning my coffee cup but of course that dumb bunny coffee guy was like ha yeah i'll take that from you

and i was like you'd like to take more than just my cup wouldn't you maybe take my body and ravage it but it was okay because i saw that silly nerdy guy and i was like wow what a nerd and i just had to smile again.

the end.

Oh, nerdy Starbucks guys. How you taunt me.

Hommage to Becca

you, my dear little feline
were a dirty cat
i miss you so,
even though your purrbox was broken
your fur was matted
and you drooled on my feet.

you rubbed dirt all over on my knees
then ran into the sewer
but who could blame you?
evicted from home!
sent to the streets after 14 years!
enough to give anyone a bad day.

Then-- not a new home
but people who only left out food
Oh, Becca, they did not deserve you
even though you smelled funny
your eyes were bright
even if they were mean, too

Becca, Becca, you were always the best
of the Kitty Mafia on Middlebrook
I like to think you died in a brawl
or a knife fight
you always had heart
even if you didn't have any claws.

Oh Becca, know that i am thinking of you
and think you are a wise cat
if never where you a wealthy cat
but i hope now, in kitty heaven
which looks like a spot
on the rug in front of a fireplace
somewhere very far from here.


RIP, Becca. You were always a good cat, even if they didn't appreciate you. We were all shocked and hurt by your death, but hopefully you've moved up on the chain of life into something better- say a Siamese (but not a Siamese like Scooby. He didn't appreciate you either, the bastard.)

mad love!

I'm A Color Reporter

rose city on the 409

work at night is so eerie
i can almost hear the voices of those
and when i sweep the dust billows to take their shapes
a hand
a face
lips
mouth
tongue

a hello and how are you
fine, but who are you and i think you know
just another
wade in the water children
just another
slash across my back
and just another
life thrown away out to the fields forever

so you're the one from the back
yes
don't hurt me
i couldn't hurt someone who works like you
we are the same person
you know
different colors
different times
same place
forever

tobacco fields to hay fields
crimson and clover
forever and ever and over and over

well, goodnight
and thanks.
and i hope we meet again.
stranger from another time.
sad eye'd lady of the lowlands.

goodbye.

the internet community frowns upon your shenanigans!

love
like ice cream
a soft force thrown out to the clouds
and i just can't help it
but i like you
and i want you to tuck me in tonight
warm air on your cheek
touch turn listen
because i like you

i can't describe the feelings
of a thousand hockey games
and hot dogs in the park
but lets stop dreaming- this is durham
so maybe we can grab coffee sometime
because i like you

im not quite sure how to tell you
i like your face
your smile could melt butter
three rooms away
i like your eyes
i want to grab you by the collar
and kiss you on the mouth
because i like you

sometimes i want to yell
turn that frown upside down!
because you are so golden
like a sunny-side up
for brunch with a side of bagels
do you want to come over?
we can watch movies
because i like you.

i like you.
i don't know why but i like you.
i just like you.
i can't help it but i like you.
i like you.
i like you.
i like you.

KIDS

hey c'mon lets ruin our lives a little

i mean thats all i really wanna do

give me money

give me sex

give me drugs

and fun

because thats where it's at, right?

thats what it's all really about right?

i want to get sick and throw up

all over the fucking floor

and lie in it a while.

lets get fucked up.

i'll bring the booze.

you bring the girls.

and i'll call some guy

who knows a guy

who knows a guy

and get the hook ups and shit

who the fuck needs school or work

i just want to get drunk

and fuck around with people i don't know

and maybe get some odd sickness

that there's no cure for

and look to my left and you're lying

in a puddle of your own fucking piss

get raped

black out

smoke a joint

get up

shower

start the day.